April 2012 - Cancer is back!

I have been feeling sharp pains in my left side for a couple of weeks.  Reminds me of a rib injury; hurting sharply when I cough, laugh or breath too deep.  So back I go for the following up testing we had scheduled for Mid April.  The April tests, including a crappy thoracentesis procedure (they jab a small tube in your back to remove a sample of fluid), showed that the cancer is back.  So here we go again. ;-(

I made three trips to Houston in April. Tests, tests and first new chemo treatment.

Chemo treatment this time will be mostly accomplished in Midland, praise God!  The travel between Houston and Midland was almost as hard as the infusions. OK, that's not true, but it was exhausting on me and my care givers.  Libby and Nita have dealt with the bulk of traveling with me and I will never be able to reward them for all their time and love.

I have three cycles of chemo to complete, each cycle is 4 weeks.  Week one and three in the cycle includes multiple drugs with week two just using taxol.  Week four is an 'off' week with no treatment.  If everything goes according to schedule, I will be doing the treatments through July.  These treatments don't seem to be as hard on me as the chemo last year, but here is fair warning - the treatments include some steroid so be ready for the mood swings! ;-). Hair is gone again just in time for the Summer heat.

Here is a picture before starting chemo again so you can see what my hair looked like before we started again.  I was amazed that I didn't have any gray hair!

So Far So Good - March 2012

Getting my strength back took longer than I thought.  Whew, it has been a struggle.  Starting in February I can work around the house, garden etc. for about 2 hours at my full speed (which is of course flat out faster than most people will ever go) then the crash comes and I take a much needed nap.

I have to say, that I did not mind missing my first 1099 submittal cycle in 30 years.  I was surprised that I didn't much give it a second thought.  Just shows you that my priorities have changed greatly this last year.

Our whole family was busy getting over a terrible sinus infection that had me in Lubbock with the kids for almost all of January. We took turns taking care of Evie, napping and fixing meals.  Evie was the best patient (even with all the teeth she is cutting).  The rest of us bitched and moaned as we began to feel better, trips to the ice cream shop where the highlight of the week.

Evie had her first birthday in April.  We celebrated with a wonderful lunch made by Kelsey and a few close family.

Four Generations

Andy, Kelsey & Evie - 1st Birthday Family

Radiation and all that JAZZ!

Boy, time sure does fly when you are having fun... Duh, not really, it's just the meds. ;-)

My entire December 2012 was spent in Houston, in a cheap apartment, having radiation and discovering that the lymph removal had given me lymphadema (a condition that causes the fluid to build up in my left arm).  The twice-a-day radiation treatments lasted only about 20 minutes or so and did not hurt.  The position they put you, all twisted and with my arm over my head, hurt and made my arms and neck fall asleep, but no big deal.  Each night the "red" starts to come on and by each Friday you think that you can't take the "sunburn" anymore.  Then you have two days off for the weekend! Yippee, I called it the cooling off days!  Then Monday rolls around and waa-laaaaa, it's time to do it all over again.  Now the physical therapy is a totally different deal, Little Marigold was so quite and sweet and then she kept trying to break my arm off! At least I only had to see her twice a week. ;-)

I was so blessed with people that came to stay with me. Both friends and family volunteered to come and stay with me the five weeks I was in Houston.  Not to mention all the Midland friends that helped with mail and checking on my house for me during one of the coldest December's we have had in years.  Seriously, cancer has taught me a lot this last year.  It's brought my family closer, my friends were always close but now we don't hold anything back, it's taught me to be grateful for every day.  But, as my niece Heather said, "cancer, it's time for you to pack up and hit the trail...."

I gained 5 pounds in Houston during December.  We took advantage of all my favorite places to eat and found 1 or 2 new spots.   I am in a good fighting weight if we have to do any more chemo.  

Kelsey, Andy and pretty baby Evie came down to be with me for Christmas.  We had a wonderful dinner purchased at Whole Foods (yummy and just heat and eat!) and Evie turned into the poster baby for the radiation waiting room. "There's that BABY" was heard over and over again down the hall and in the waiting room. Evie was a hit with all the ladies and put smiles on our faces.

We didn't do anything too wild for New Years's, but by the look on Evie's face, we sure had fun!  As you can imagine, and as I have said over and over again, Evie is my best medicine.  Well, and Kelsey too, she is always my baby.

And meanwhile "back at the doggie ranch", Ruby was kicking back with my brother-n-law (Steve) and Chili. Pretty good life if you can get it. ;-)

The burn from the radiation took a month to get better.  It was purple/red and really icky with the open sores that came up, but thank God no infection.  I tell ya, I can wrap a good burn wound now so if anyone out there comes up with 2nd-3rd degree burns, I'm your nurse.  

These are my boost plates.  The radiation treatments have two stages, regular 20 min deal and then concentrated blasts that they call "boost".  The boost is focused thru a lead plate that is designed for each patient by the rad/oncologist.  My boost plates just happened to be my whole chest and side.  I wanted to bring these things home, but alas, the darn things weigh about 40 lbs. each. (and the technician about had a rigor when I asked.)

While my niece Heather and my sis Nita were in town, we managed to run off down to Galveston one Sunday.   Heather painted my toenails first and then we just took the rest of the day off from Cancer. Went on a ferry ride and got our toes into the sand on a beach.  Nita, my mother hen, kept yelling at me to not cut my feet on anything (she worries about the infections).  We couldn't pry her out of the car though. She is not into the sand thing!  And we had a wonderful flounder dinner at Guido's in Galveston.   It was great!

By the time I finished, I was really ready to leave Houston.  So I was glad to ring the bell out of both Radiation and my physical therapy. My sister, Nita and the gals that "cooked" me where awesome and were glad to seem me finish.

I hope never to stay as long in Houston, again.

Pie Baking!

Took the time on the weekend before leaving for Radiation to go up to Kelsey's in Lubbock to bake some pies for her family.  The Segers and the Gallaghers have been so wonderful to us this year and we wanted to do something special for them before I ran off to Houston once again.  Chocolate and coconut cream pies were made and Evie helped with the whole ordeal.  Hope all of you have as much fun in the kitchen as we do!

Cancer Etiquette for Dummies

Over the last 9 months, it has been both my good luck and pleasure to have wonderful friends and family help me.  However, occasionally on this up-hill road, I have met or been re-introduced to friends and family that just don't know how to talk to a cancer patient.

Cancer patients aren't really any different than normal people, we just have a heightened sense and appreciation for our health and lives.   In casual conversations with us, do not immediately say, "oh yeah, my mother/aunt/sister died from breast cancer."  Come on, even a five year old would be a little smarter!  Do not treat us as if we are made of glass, do not ignore us by withholding invitations (if we feel like going/doing it we will, we're not stupid-just sick) and hug us as often as you can.  Don't assume that we don't want to do something, ask us.

If you are not comfortable being around us, the feeling will probably be mutual so just stay away.  If you want to share a few moments with us out of your busy day, don't ask us to call you when it is convenient, just call and say "hey, I have some time to spare this afternoon, are you free to go get ice cream!"  Cancer patients and me especially love ice cream. (or Pie, I would go for coffee and pie just about any time.)  Just call us, we need the input of human kindness most of all.

You need to know the following:  During Chemo, eating is touch and go. Soups, malt-0-meal, ice cream and smoothies are what a patient survives on, when the mouth ulcers will let them.  During Surgery we eat anything we can get our hands on - but we can't drive anywhere or lift even 10 pounds.  Offer to just drive us around and get us out of the house!  During Radiation we will still eat just about anything.  We can do more for ourselves but we are scared that the treatment may not have gotten everything and we need to keep our minds completely occupied.  The twice a day radiation that IBC patients have to go thru is just crummy.  The positions that they put you in can cause a lot of cramping, backache and some short term numbness.  But other than that, the radiation itself doesn't hurt during the first couple of weeks.  I'll let you know if it gets worse/better as I go through my schedule.

You learn who your REAL friends are during cancer treatments.  They are the ones that don't treat you like you have leprosy and will go out of their comfort zone to make you feel loved.  We are humans that are in a battle for our lives, but we need to live today as much as we can. We eat out, go to movies and sleep a lot. Sometimes we want company and sometimes we just want to be still and enjoy the quite.

Go out there and smile at people, hug them when you can, shake a hand and express your gratitude for your friendships.  Treat Cancer patients like anyone else, except maybe love on us just a little bit more than normal, we appreciate it.

Surgery and Recovery

Sorry it has taken me so long to write.  The week of my surgery was also my birthday and we celebrated by having a  home cooked dinner with Nita, Mother, Kelsey and Evie in Midland.  Then when we shipped out (Libby and I) we had a wonderful dinner with her nephew Sam (we will be talking about this meal for a long time - can you say white chocolate bread pudding - yummy) on Sunday and a great Italian dinner with Sherry and Barry on Monday night.  It was great to have Sherry and Barry come down to root me on thru surgery.  On Tuesday, my breast removal went well.  The staff at MDAnderson is the best!  Where else in the world can you go in for surgery and have peace and quite to sleep..

The drainage tubes were a bitch to deal will.  Was able to have one removed after 3 weeks but the last tube  stayed in until just a few days before thanksgiving.  Working on getting my range of motion back.  Kelsey and Evie were waiting for me when I arrived home from Surgery (once again, Libby traveled with me for the ordeal and stayed with me in Houston for 4-5 days).  It was amazing how good I felt after surgery. Oh, maybe that was the pain meds ;-).  But I do believe that the block that they used in surgery had a good 10 day effect to minimize the pain.  It was so funny, one minute I am sitting on the side of the bed talking to the anesthesiologist while she marks my neck, a nurse walks around in front of me-smiles and says "I'm just going to place my hands on your shoulders to balance you." the next thing I know I am waking up from surgery.  Now that's the way to do it!  Good meds thereafter made the first week bearable.  Not too many could or would stand around to help with the daily work on the tubes but I managed just fine.  Thank God I do not have a queasy stomach. ;-)  Nita had made me a whole batch of different sized pillows for my birthday and they really helped me and gave Evie something to play with. (See the photo below for one of the pillows Nita made for me.)  Evie and Kelsey are my best Medicine any time of day or night.  I sat in he floor with Evie my first week of recovery and played and played until we both took naps. Kelsey continues to text me and send pictures of Evie and the effect of viewing those photos is marvelous.

About 10 days after surgery, I was called with the results of the pathology report.  Although I had great margins at the time of surgery, the pathology report came back bad.  Now the radiation therapy is more important than ever and will begin shortly.  Gotta heal up first.  Radiation will be twice a day, Monday thru Friday, for about 5 weeks.  Can you say happy holidays... ;-(  Oh well, we will "make it work!"

Keep praying for me!  I will have to go thru more chemo after radiation and some of it will include some experimental treatment.  Dang old IBC is a tough nut to crack and to stop.  My ornery side is wearing thin, but the battle continues.  With your help, prayers and support I will fight and claw my way back!

Day after Surgery!

Last FEC Treatment

Yesterday was my last FEC chemo treatment.  If we are on course, it may be the last chemo treatment I ever have to endure. WOW.  My next battery of tests are scheduled in 3 weeks and then surgery will be 2 weeks thereafter.  I am ready to get this beast cut out of my body.  Dr. Alvarez is very optimistic that the surgery should be able to remove all of the cancer. We discussed several testing options before and after surgery.  One of my largest concerns is spread of the cancer.  I must be back to my old self because I asked if cancer was in or around his penis whether we would be doing more testing, he turned red and grinned and called me "very frontal" in that Brazilian accent of his, pretty sure he meant "up front".   But assured me that he is confident. There are small moments of humor in dealing with this thing, you have to take advantage of them when you can.

It has been what seems like a long haul, although I know other patience's have had to go thru much more and for longer time frames. I see them everywhere, both in Midland and Houston.  Some have been getting treatments for years!  I try to get my act together after seeing these guys and to keep the complaints down.

I don't know how the "weak of heart" could ever do this, it's rough.  I would never had made it this far without Libby, Nita, Kelsey, Carolyn, Wana and the rest of my friends and family.  Each one has worked hard to accept my wicked attitude, my sick body and to help me with all matters of the day-to-day.  And some yucky stuff that is NOT on the list of help you readily ask for.  God bless each of them.

I have received phone calls from my old basketball coach, old teammates, from family and both new and old friends.  The get well cards are all proudly displayed and I will be keeping them all.  Even Ruby, my dog, works hard at keeping me active, going for walks and just having general play time. (If I sit on the couch or lay in the bed too long she makes me move!)  All of the friendship and love has made this easier. Thank You All, and please keep it coming.