Pie Baking!

Took the time on the weekend before leaving for Radiation to go up to Kelsey's in Lubbock to bake some pies for her family.  The Segers and the Gallaghers have been so wonderful to us this year and we wanted to do something special for them before I ran off to Houston once again.  Chocolate and coconut cream pies were made and Evie helped with the whole ordeal.  Hope all of you have as much fun in the kitchen as we do!

Cancer Etiquette for Dummies

Over the last 9 months, it has been both my good luck and pleasure to have wonderful friends and family help me.  However, occasionally on this up-hill road, I have met or been re-introduced to friends and family that just don't know how to talk to a cancer patient.

Cancer patients aren't really any different than normal people, we just have a heightened sense and appreciation for our health and lives.   In casual conversations with us, do not immediately say, "oh yeah, my mother/aunt/sister died from breast cancer."  Come on, even a five year old would be a little smarter!  Do not treat us as if we are made of glass, do not ignore us by withholding invitations (if we feel like going/doing it we will, we're not stupid-just sick) and hug us as often as you can.  Don't assume that we don't want to do something, ask us.

If you are not comfortable being around us, the feeling will probably be mutual so just stay away.  If you want to share a few moments with us out of your busy day, don't ask us to call you when it is convenient, just call and say "hey, I have some time to spare this afternoon, are you free to go get ice cream!"  Cancer patients and me especially love ice cream. (or Pie, I would go for coffee and pie just about any time.)  Just call us, we need the input of human kindness most of all.

You need to know the following:  During Chemo, eating is touch and go. Soups, malt-0-meal, ice cream and smoothies are what a patient survives on, when the mouth ulcers will let them.  During Surgery we eat anything we can get our hands on - but we can't drive anywhere or lift even 10 pounds.  Offer to just drive us around and get us out of the house!  During Radiation we will still eat just about anything.  We can do more for ourselves but we are scared that the treatment may not have gotten everything and we need to keep our minds completely occupied.  The twice a day radiation that IBC patients have to go thru is just crummy.  The positions that they put you in can cause a lot of cramping, backache and some short term numbness.  But other than that, the radiation itself doesn't hurt during the first couple of weeks.  I'll let you know if it gets worse/better as I go through my schedule.

You learn who your REAL friends are during cancer treatments.  They are the ones that don't treat you like you have leprosy and will go out of their comfort zone to make you feel loved.  We are humans that are in a battle for our lives, but we need to live today as much as we can. We eat out, go to movies and sleep a lot. Sometimes we want company and sometimes we just want to be still and enjoy the quite.

Go out there and smile at people, hug them when you can, shake a hand and express your gratitude for your friendships.  Treat Cancer patients like anyone else, except maybe love on us just a little bit more than normal, we appreciate it.

Surgery and Recovery

Sorry it has taken me so long to write.  The week of my surgery was also my birthday and we celebrated by having a  home cooked dinner with Nita, Mother, Kelsey and Evie in Midland.  Then when we shipped out (Libby and I) we had a wonderful dinner with her nephew Sam (we will be talking about this meal for a long time - can you say white chocolate bread pudding - yummy) on Sunday and a great Italian dinner with Sherry and Barry on Monday night.  It was great to have Sherry and Barry come down to root me on thru surgery.  On Tuesday, my breast removal went well.  The staff at MDAnderson is the best!  Where else in the world can you go in for surgery and have peace and quite to sleep..

The drainage tubes were a bitch to deal will.  Was able to have one removed after 3 weeks but the last tube  stayed in until just a few days before thanksgiving.  Working on getting my range of motion back.  Kelsey and Evie were waiting for me when I arrived home from Surgery (once again, Libby traveled with me for the ordeal and stayed with me in Houston for 4-5 days).  It was amazing how good I felt after surgery. Oh, maybe that was the pain meds ;-).  But I do believe that the block that they used in surgery had a good 10 day effect to minimize the pain.  It was so funny, one minute I am sitting on the side of the bed talking to the anesthesiologist while she marks my neck, a nurse walks around in front of me-smiles and says "I'm just going to place my hands on your shoulders to balance you." the next thing I know I am waking up from surgery.  Now that's the way to do it!  Good meds thereafter made the first week bearable.  Not too many could or would stand around to help with the daily work on the tubes but I managed just fine.  Thank God I do not have a queasy stomach. ;-)  Nita had made me a whole batch of different sized pillows for my birthday and they really helped me and gave Evie something to play with. (See the photo below for one of the pillows Nita made for me.)  Evie and Kelsey are my best Medicine any time of day or night.  I sat in he floor with Evie my first week of recovery and played and played until we both took naps. Kelsey continues to text me and send pictures of Evie and the effect of viewing those photos is marvelous.

About 10 days after surgery, I was called with the results of the pathology report.  Although I had great margins at the time of surgery, the pathology report came back bad.  Now the radiation therapy is more important than ever and will begin shortly.  Gotta heal up first.  Radiation will be twice a day, Monday thru Friday, for about 5 weeks.  Can you say happy holidays... ;-(  Oh well, we will "make it work!"

Keep praying for me!  I will have to go thru more chemo after radiation and some of it will include some experimental treatment.  Dang old IBC is a tough nut to crack and to stop.  My ornery side is wearing thin, but the battle continues.  With your help, prayers and support I will fight and claw my way back!

Day after Surgery!

Last FEC Treatment

Yesterday was my last FEC chemo treatment.  If we are on course, it may be the last chemo treatment I ever have to endure. WOW.  My next battery of tests are scheduled in 3 weeks and then surgery will be 2 weeks thereafter.  I am ready to get this beast cut out of my body.  Dr. Alvarez is very optimistic that the surgery should be able to remove all of the cancer. We discussed several testing options before and after surgery.  One of my largest concerns is spread of the cancer.  I must be back to my old self because I asked if cancer was in or around his penis whether we would be doing more testing, he turned red and grinned and called me "very frontal" in that Brazilian accent of his, pretty sure he meant "up front".   But assured me that he is confident. There are small moments of humor in dealing with this thing, you have to take advantage of them when you can.

It has been what seems like a long haul, although I know other patience's have had to go thru much more and for longer time frames. I see them everywhere, both in Midland and Houston.  Some have been getting treatments for years!  I try to get my act together after seeing these guys and to keep the complaints down.

I don't know how the "weak of heart" could ever do this, it's rough.  I would never had made it this far without Libby, Nita, Kelsey, Carolyn, Wana and the rest of my friends and family.  Each one has worked hard to accept my wicked attitude, my sick body and to help me with all matters of the day-to-day.  And some yucky stuff that is NOT on the list of help you readily ask for.  God bless each of them.

I have received phone calls from my old basketball coach, old teammates, from family and both new and old friends.  The get well cards are all proudly displayed and I will be keeping them all.  Even Ruby, my dog, works hard at keeping me active, going for walks and just having general play time. (If I sit on the couch or lay in the bed too long she makes me move!)  All of the friendship and love has made this easier. Thank You All, and please keep it coming.

FEC treatments II and III

The new FEC treatments are kicking my butt!  I really thought that the separation of three weeks between treatments would mean that I would get over the chemo effects sooner and have more energy. Not the way its working.  The second treatment and subsequent injection of Neulasta really kicked my butt too.  Down to the point I wondered if it wasn't time to get live in help here at the house.  The Neulasta is supposed to help with the energy, but they forgot to tell me that I would feel like I had been beaten all over first.  Dr. Carr saw me looking pretty pitiful for followup labs and suggested that we put me in the infusion room and give me an IV of fluids, it was amazing how much better it made me feel.  I was able to eat well for the first time in days!  So we have proceeded to give me fluids when needed and it has made a huge difference.  Although I am still fatigued, the nausea is not nearly as bad and that means that I can stop the weight loss.  Who would have thought I would be down to 135 lbs and the size 8s are falling off of my scrawny butt.

I did get to go to Lamesa and see my Mother, Daughter, Granddaughter and sisters two weekends ago.  It was just a family girl day at my mom's.  We put that beautiful Evie on the floor with her toys and encouraged her to finally try and roll over.  We were like a bunch of old guys when she finally managed it.  We all jumped in the air and clapped like it was a touchdown at the super-bowl.  Wonderful to have the time just to visit with them all and see Evie's smiles.

Last week and the III FEC treatment went well until I came down with a sinus infection. Between sinus infection and another Neulasta shot my Labor Day was spent just keeping my bones moving without whimpering too loud.

First FEC treatment and aftermath.

The first of my three week apart treatments did not go as planned.  Evidently the FEC treatment was stronger than expected and after about day six I was feeling even more fatigued than normal.  After speaking to the doctor and checking temperatures it was decided that I should go on into the emergency room here in midland and have them look at my labs.  In fact I spent 6 days in the hospital mid-cycle for low white cell count, immunities down to zero.  After 5 full days of antibiotics I feel better now, going home just to be able the sleep,  the rest time you get in the hospital in non-existent. Nita came down and so did Sheila with Kelsey, Andy and Evie staying at the house.  Andy did an awesome Job of super mom.  He took care of Evie all weekend including Saturday night so Kelsey could stay all night with me when my fever spiked again.  Nita stayed the first night, the trooper she always is.  The rest of the time  I was better enough to stay by myself at night.  Thank God for Joe Gasse and the soup he brought by, the meals at the hospital are worse than prison food, I survived on What Libby, Nita and Kelsey smuggled in to me.

Glad to be home, have 4 days to get back in shape to go get my second FEC treatment.  Let's all pray that this one goes better and that my immunities stary up enough for me to get out of the house. LOL.

86% down and Counting!

Got great news yesterday after the sonogram. 86% reduction in the size of my cancer in my left breast.  MRI results are pending, but should just confirm the result in more detail.  This is excellent news, all the prayers are working, please don't stop.

My next trip is on August 8th, so I have a breather now.  Maybe I can get to see some of you guys and thank you properly for all that you have done.  Call me and let's do lunch or dinner, I am eating better and have some lbs to make up! LOL

July 13th- Week 14 & 15 of treatment

Kelsey is back at work full time and Evie is doing well at her day care.  We can even remote access the camera in the day care to see the nursery.  Just a little something extra to keep me busy.

July 11th was my last PAC chemo treatment now we move on to the FEC chemo treatments beginning on the 18th.  The FEC treatments will be 3 weeks apart, so I am really ready to get to this part of my schedule.  Next week is also all the Mid-treatment testing to see how the cancer is reacting.  I hope that the MRI shows that we have blasted the crap out of it! ;-)

I'm still taking about a 3 to 4 hour nap everyday.  But must be feeling better, used the "f" bomb today for the first time in awhile, a sure sign that I am getting back to my old self! LOL

Thank you to all the folks that have called, cooked and prayed for me.  It's all working, so don't stop.

Getting back on Track!

Week 13 of treatment sees me back on track with my chemo treatments.  Since my two week "vacation" this week was the 11th infusion with two more to go on the protocol and then I can begin the four treatments of the FEC infusions that fall at 3 week intervals.  They tell me that the FEC infusions are a walk in the park, so I am looking forward to finishing the protocol treatments and moving on. Between the change in the treatments, I will have a complete battery of tests to evaluate my progress.  All looks good so far.

I feel stronger this week, strong enough to be bored yet still weak enough to know not to over do.  A walk around the block today was my big accomplishment and doing some work over the phone just sucked the rest of the life right out of me in time for a three hour nap.  Now that the family feels that I am well enough to be on my own, I realize how much company my care-givers were.   Libby took me to dinner last night and it was good to see that my appetite is working.  The loss of over 28 pounds is making all my clothes just hang on my frame and I am working at having at least two protein milkshakes a day on top of my regular meals.

Since Ruby is still at "Cousin Chili's" for summer camp, it is pretty quite around here.  I miss her, but at the same time I know that I still have a way to go to be up to having her back home. Maybe by the weekend we can try to have her home! She is learning to stay cool by jumping in the horse trough and is enjoying the country lifestyle. ;-)

Kelsey went back to work this week and has taken little Evie with her.  I can't imagine the amount of energy that working with a baby wrapped around your body must take, but she seems to handle every challenge.  Next week Evie will begin staying at day care and I can hear a slight quiver in Kelsey's voice every time she talks about it.

Keep the prayers, letters, cards and phone calls coming!  You have no idea how much they mean and help....

Week Ten and Eleven of Chemo

Well, guess we all know that the old body can only take so much, no matter how tough you think you are. After my tenth chemo treatment, I pretty much hit the wall.  My time horizontal increased two fold and what little time I could spend vertical was in a woozy state of dizzy vs. nauseous to the point of no more work.  I went in with Kelsey for Chemo treatment number 11 having to be pushed around in a wheel chair.  Not a great experience for me or Kelsey. LOL.  Probably the only person touch enough to stand up to the strain, Kelsey has been a life saver.  Saw Dr. Alvarez and he took me off chemo for a couple of weeks to let my body regather some strength.

The two weeks have been two of the toughest of my life.  No longer able to stay alone, Kelsey and Evie have been here day and night.  Having someone wait on you hand and foot has not been the fun it sounds like it might be, but seeing Evie smile and watching Kelsey with her is good medicine.

Not able to work, at all.  What a new experience for me?  I've never been as disconnected and it has had some moments of shock and awe.  The last couple of days have at least seen me get out of bed and out of the house for small moments.  I pay for them by going down for 4 hour naps where people come and go without me even being aware.  Weird feeling to know that you can zone out that hard.

Nita comes down tomorrow for the "change in rotation" for a few days and we are due back in Houston on June 27th.  We will see if they put me back on chemo treatments now or after the big testing scheduled the first week of July.

Week Eight and Nine of Chemo

I met a wonderful breast cancer survivor on the plane this last week.  Visiting with her was an uplifting experience so I want to sent a special thank you to Pisces and her thoughtful inspiration.  Week Eight and Nine have been uneventful, just more of the same, although I am feeling like I have a tiny bit more energy on some days.  I do have to watch not to over do, the next day can slam me pretty hard.  I did learn that while going by myself to MDA might be expedient, it isn't very good for my moral.  I guess I needed to learn that pain shared is also pain that is lessened.  Evie is growing strong and Kelsey is such a good mom and she is working hard at taking care of Evie and recovering from the delivery.  Andy is working hard both at work and home.  The heart of the family is strong with them and I enjoy the "guess what happened today" stories.

Evie is One Month Old!

Week Seven of Chemo

OK, so for those who want a real update on the beast fighting.  Got my head shaved last week, got tired of the falling hair trying to stick to my face at night and combing out handfuls of hair.  Hey it lasted 6 weeks, that's pretty amazing.  Nausea seems to be my biggest fight, hard lumpy feeling in the center of my chest Wednesday thru about Saturday each week.  The meds work but make me to tired to work and work is my best medicine, most of the time.  Just about the time I feel really good, it's time to go another round.

Rash is working on getting better, I look kinda like a pale purple and white spotted dog. LOL  Dove and vaseline are about the only products I can stand to use or smell right now.  No one told me about the smell thing, perfume is the worst but the oddest things make my tummy roll over and my skin is so tender I try to wear only cotton.

Good news, the mouth ulcers are gone, hope they don't come back...

Sundays I fly out, get up early on Monday and go over to hook into the MDA machine.  They take great care of me.  The port is a life saver, just gotta remember to use the numbing cream at least an hour before.  Go back to the hotel on Monday evening and fly home each Tuesday morning.  Eating on Monday is always an IF game and really cold fluids are my friend, especially milk and cranberry juice, go figure.

Blessings abound around every corner, I have had mail, email, calls, prayers and texts from everywhere and everyone.  My family tries to insulate me, wish they would stop that, it makes you feel left out when you need in the most.  Guess that insulation bit is a knee jerk reaction thingy.

Ruby constantly makes me laugh, Kelsey sends the sweetest pictures of Evie, Andy is working too hard, Sheila has assholes to deal with and Nita is still trying to worry for the whole family.  Please pray for everyone in the family.  Cancer is a nasty bastard that effects everyone around you in different ways.  So far, we are all hanging in.

Life and Cake

Our daily lives and the people who touch us are like cake ingredients.  Each one on their own, might not have the right texture or taste of the finished product.  But when the sum of all the days and the people, when added together end up with the sweet taste, just like a slice of cake.  Our lives should be just like the taste left behind of our favorite cake and leave a sweet taste in the memories of others.

I have found in the last 7 weeks, that I have a very sweet life with the cake that others share with me of their lives.  So many people care, it is astounding.  Many are praying, some do things and others just give good moral support.  But all of my friends have added to my "cake" with many sweet flavors and texture.

Kelsey was in the hospital over the weekend, she had an infection that got the best of her for a few days.  She hated being away from Evie and worried about her constantly.  Evie had three adults and a pediatric nurse at her beck and call, so she was fine.  As a parent, one of the hard lessons is to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first in the event of a plane crash.  Our instinct is to do for our children and loved ones first.  But, I am learning the hard way, that if I do not take care of "me", then there is no one left to take care of those I love.  Well, maybe not no one, but you get the idea.  Besides, I am a control freak and no one can do it the way I can. ;-)

So, the lesson for today:  Enjoy the "cake" of your life AND Take care of  "insert your name here".  After you do that, then you can worry about everyone else.

Who is the fairest of them all? EVIE, that's who!

In a baby's life, one week makes a huge difference!

not even fussy during her Dr's visit!

Nausea vs. Yakking

Did you know that there is a difference between Nausea and Vomiting?  No now seriously, did you know?  I haven’t been taking my nausea medication because I never really got so sick during the week or treatment days to be vomiting.  Well, it turns out that the cold hard knot in the middle of my chest that felt like a 5 lb weight on my ribs (or a belch you can’t work up or down) is nausea.  Who Knew?  Kinda reminds me of that nasty cream of wheat my MaMaw Dennis used to try to get me to eat.  Lumps, who can swallow lumps??  

Well, with taking the anti-nausea meds, the new anti-itch (wish they also had an anti-Bitch) meds I feel much better later in the week.  Thursday’s and Fridays have always been my toughest days and we dodged that nasty bullet this week just by better medicine use.   Hmmm, learning something everyday. 

May 8, 2011 - Sorry, I'm behind

Sorry to be behind, but new grandbaby has taken up some time since April 25th.  Evie is just awesome and growing like a weed.  Hardly cries at all, maybe that's because we hardly ever put her down.  She is a great source of joy.

Being with Kelsey and Andy this past 10 days or so has been such a blessing.  Watching them work together to take care of their new baby is both a joy and a sadness.  I try to keep doubt out of my head, and most days succeed pretty well.  But, late at night, or when I feeling pretty nauseated, it can be tough not to let the doubt monster in.  

Thank you to all of those that really care.  And I do mean really care, not just mouth the appropriate words at what you think is the right time. In case you are unaware, people can tell.  Most people fit into about 1 of 4 categories.  The first group are the ones that care, I mean really care, go out on a limb do anything you need care.  The second group is the “we want to care group,” they try to say all the right stuff, but it just falls flat and they just can’t seem to muster up more words or deeds, good intentions do not make good deeds.  The third and forth group are almost the same except the third group is frozen in place where the forth guys actually look at you like you might be giving them your disease by just looking at them.  They just wait for the best time to run away from you.  Cancer will really show you who your friends are.  It’s a little like knowing who will come to your funeral when you die and what their reason for showing up will be.  

When we lost Bud, it was hard, nearly took me to my knees again. Losing Ray was one of the hardest things I have ever had to handle. Right up there with my Dad.  Bud’s was just as tough, because we all relied on the advice we gave and the love we all shared with each other.  I’m not talking about the “hearts and flowers”, smackie face and huggie bear kind of love.  I’m talking about deep-rooted respect the kind that comes from watching the way someone handles things for years. Both professional and personal respect.  Most of you know me, but what you may not realize is that the true respect I have for people is a little on the skimpy side.  I have a select few in my life that I have placed in that area of complete trust and respect, Ray and Bud were both on that shelf.  That shelf is small and getting smaller every day.  Very few new members have joined the ranks in the past 20 years and the shelf is beginning to get rather bare.  That’s the ache, that’s the sadness.  True good, go to the bone for you friends are scarce.  We wander around in life and think that we have “enough” money,  “enough” time, “enough” love, “enough” friends.  We never have enough friends, trust me, they thin out when time calls their name to hclp. 

I am so glad that I have taken the time to love the many folks I have had in my life, both the good ones and the bad ones.  I thank God everyday for the new people I am meeting that take my rough exterior and see down to the bigger heart.  I praise the Lord that “old” friends just refuse to let go and bug me so that we stay in touch.

I guess watching Evie grow over the last 10 days has reminded me of the miracle that is life.  10 days do not make a life, but those same 10 days can be life changing.  Don’t stand for enough when it comes to people.  More friends, good honest ones, are always welcome.

April 25, 2011 - Mary Evangeline Seger

7:52pm
8 lb 1 oz
22 inches
Baby fine, mommy fine, daddy fine.
Grandmother will be fine as soon as I can get out of Houston and hold her!

April 24th 2011 - Another warrior has left us-Bud Allcorn

Today, I lost a friend.  For 20 years, if anyone needed help or protecting, if an oil well needed drilling or re-working or if you just wanted to have a quiet cup of coffee while reading the paper, then Bud Allcorn was the man for the job. 


I remember him in the early part of those twenty years as the steel eyed cowboy at the end of the bar, so distinctive and well turned out with that pale almost white hat, watching the whole room.  He smiled seldom and could stop men twice his size with just a glance.  I saw it more than once, it was the look of a man that didn't fear anything, he gave you the once over and knew your measure immediately.


In the later part of those twenty years, Bud showed his softer side to those close.  He ferociously protected Ray and Libby and June.  He worked harder than any other three men.  He laughed and joked with Kelsey and Andy, gave Rance and Taber both hard times when they needed them and was a constant source of a practical joke whenever he could catch you off guard.  Oh, and how he loved catching you off guard, it made his day! 


He loved being at Fish-n-Nuts.  It was his home, favorite job and retreat. His coffee gatherings with his friend Ray can now continue after 102 day hiatus.  I will ever hear his rumbling "uh, huh!" at the end of some story.


He did not talk about his heroism, but not many men have lived as Bud lived.  He was an example to us all.  He survived three broken necks, two gun shots, a bayonet wound and the good Lord only knows what chances he took in the patch.  He didn't tell the "gals" all the stories, but I am sure some of you men know the tales.  Bud was unique, both a hero and an occasional outlaw.  I loved him both ways.


Bud was a magnificent friend.  His "Pecos tales" will live on.  His heroism during forgotten wars will be remembered by us all.

April 18th thru 21st

April 18^th-  NO BABY YET!  Libby and I are up at 4am and headed to Houston, my first appt. with the Radi/Onco group introduces me to maybe the best nurse yet, Kay Kidwell.  Wow, she is a fountain of information and pretty much gets me covered on all the process of when, how, how much, and type of process to expect during the radiation process for IBC patients.  Twice a day, five days a week for up to 6 weeks is not unusual and she wants me to be ready for intentional redness, this is different for than the process for regular breast patients.  She is very thorough.  Next comes in Dr. Karen Hoffman, a very personable young doctor “stolen from Harvard”.  She is a brain and just sweet as pie.  Deep breathe in.  Deep breathe out.  Once again, I feel very secure in my choice of professionals and a sense of peace is beginning to enter to shove out the scary bits.

Now during all this process today, Libby discovers that she made it out of the house without her drugs.  So we have been on the phone with Medco and Walgreens several times just to get what she needs for overnight meds.  Here I have my BFF on the road without her BP meds!  Yikes.  We go to lunch out of the complex and into the Melrose area where Walgreens has a location.  I nearly get smacked for walking in front of this beefy looking Nazi, but we just eyeball each other and keep walking.  Still without drugs we leave in a cab with the nicest man, who informs us that we have just been in the most notoriously gay area of Houston.  Now I get it, I said, “excuse me, honey,” to that man and he was insulted. Duh!

Chemo #3 is at 3:30, and we again go through the process of going to the infusion therapy area to get the needle inserted in my port before chemo.  Alex does an even better job than Esper did last week.  The key is that numbing cream, leaving it on and covered with plastic an hour before going up is really helping.

Libby and I traded text messages and phone calls with Kelsey all day.  Evie is still in “docking position” but no eminent delivery.  This time chemo is a little easier, but still takes over 4 hours.  We share a sandwich, still listening to all of Kelsey’s messages, and leave the center about 7:30 or so.  Marriott check in with the same idiot of a desk person, Armand, and finally get to our room.  Mother calls and we talk while Libby finally gets to retrieve her drugs.

We go up to the consigers lounge and drink about 4 bottles of water each and crash back in our rooms.

April 19- up and out of Houston on the 9am direct flight to Midland.  Heck, I am at work by 11am.  Seem to have a ton of energy and I work all day until about 6:30pm. 

April 20 – another good day.  Work all day, even through lunch with my homemade soup and meet Nita at 5:30 for an early dinner.  She gets on out of town and I go over to Libby’s.  She and Carolyn are working on the christening gown for Evie.  The smocking that Carolyn has done on the antique pillowcases, from my grandma Madison, is amazing.  I cry for the first time since the 11^th, but not in pain this time, with a heart bursting from love from good friends.  Kelsey, Andy and Evie will have a true treasure to share for generations.

April 21- oh, slow down there Lucy!  OK, obviously, Thursday’s are my heading south days. This one doesn’t seem as bad as last week, but definitely less energy, tummy upset and the ulcers and throat are painful to swallowing or breathing.  Thank the Lord and Charla for the Xyloxylin wash.  It gives me enough relief to get food down.

April 11th thru April 17th

April 11th was my second chemo and the first "full cocktail" mix of three drugs plus the anti nausea medication.  Yuck, the taste that immediately pervades your senses is bitter like the inside of a peach pit and the awful taste seems to last until the next morning.  But, at least I have not had and nausea.  This chemo treatment was hard because they did more needle core biopsies this morning, five.   I think I just might run away if we ever have to do any more of those. They are the most painful procedure for me.  All the doctors seemed surprised the biopsies are so painful; I think I will suggest that they have to place a similar organ on the table beside me and let me pound on it during the procedure. ;-)   Crying like a big old baby is not my finest moment and I don’t want to repeat it.

Nita was a champ, even on Sunday when the Marriott booked us into a room where a resident was already staying.  Hey, we got a free steak dinner out of the deal, and that put us to bed on Sunday night ready to face the dragon. 

The chemo took over 5 hours and I have to tell you it was scarier than it was hurtful.  Each of the packets of chemo are hung on the pole with a “chaser” to insure that 100% of the drug gets used.  One is even light sensitive and comes with a cover that I call chemo-shades to keep out all light.  They do not mix the drugs until I am called back into my mini room and it took over an hour for all the meds to arrive.  It is a little nerve wracking. 

I gagged down half of a pb&j sandwich and some cold milk during the process, change rooms once so that the staff rotation can complete (Belen was my nurse and see is incredible).  When we finish at 9:30pm Nita is pretty much bundling me in my binky and hanging on to me in the cab to prevent bumps and lunges.  In the room, I make a nest in the middle of my queen bed, take my temp, take a sleeping pill and fall back exhausted.  Nita jumps up several times to make sure my temp has not exceeded the 101.5 guideline.  But all in all we have a decent night.

Since we able to cram all our appointments into Monday, we have Tuesday morning open.  MDA wants me to stay in town at least 12 to 14 hours after this batch and we realize that getting a flight out before our previous 3pm reservation is not going to happen.  So, hungry for fish and with time to kill, we take a cab over to the Aquarium. It was a nice hour spent looking at the tanks and then another hour having lunch.  My fish tacos even came wrapped special.

OK, Chemo #2 down, 14 more to go.

April 12 & 13 – felt good, some slight fever, rash by Thursday and getting worse by the Weekend.

April 14 & 15 – worked from home where I spent most of the time on the couch with the dog toy pile growing around me again.

April 16 & 17 – Kelsey is having pre-labor and I am in a flurry making soup, pot roast and carnitas for freezing.  Hopefully Evie will arrive before I leave Monday for Houston.  My face is a zit factory!  I wouldn’t mind so much but the darn things are painful.  Guess the outside poison is going to my face and arms and the inside poison is going to the ulcers in my mouth and throat.  Sipping on cold liquids seems to help.

Important Message

I will tell you about my week in another blog, but I was reminded yesterday by two life long friends that challenges like my battle with cancer are opportunities to "rise above".  So today, I want to use my voice and this challenge to remind all of you of how we ALL need to RISE UP.

Today, it has been exactly one month since a nurse told me over the phone that I have malignant cancer cells in my breast.  In that month, I have been able to get MRIs, PET/CT, mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies, x-rays and other testing completed, results reviewed, treatment designed AND two weeks of treatment completed with a third round due tomorrow.

If you could see the number of people I see every week from all over the world getting treatment in Houston, you would be proud of what we can do here in Texas and America. These poor people, have to leave their homes and travel across the world to get good health care.   The medical team is also from all over the world, why do you think the best of the best are here? .

I have a friend in Canada, who is a nurse, and she can't believe how fast all the process has been for me.  My friends in England feel the same way.  With IBC days make a difference.  One member of the medical team even stated, "if you are going to have this type of cancer, it's best that you had it now and not next year."  Such a small comment by a member of an elite medical community but such a big message if you are paying attention.

2012 is set to bring big changes in America.  Especially if we just "go with the flow".  I don't want anyone to face the beast that is cancer or any time sensitive disease.  But you all need to think about you or your loved ones facing similar circumstances in the future, right now!

How do you run your business?  If the profit margin falls, don't you stop any excess spending first and then  figure out how to increase income and you do it in a timely fashion.  The same people who are not qualified to run a business are certainly no experts on health care.  IT HASN'T WORKED in other countries, what makes these numskulls think they can make it work for America when they can't even stop the flow of our debt.

I don't pretend to have all the answers.  There are certainly better qualified people, but they should at least be qualified.  We don't hired some guy to work for our company if he has no credentials. A first step might be to stop electing people to office that have no business background.  

The general population in America has been fat and lazy way too long.  And we are about to see what happens when you are lazy.  We must work on protecting our religion of choice, home, family, lives and country on a daily basis.  Wake up!

April 5, 2011 - Port Installation Day

Up early AGAIN, man the 5:00 am wake ups are tough.  I want to go by every room on my floor of the hotel and scream and yell to remind all the nuts that were awake and making the same noise at 3:00 am that there are other people in the hotel beside the "final four" idjits.  Oh well.  The surgical floor at Mays clinic is on the eight floor and we head out to meet our 7:00 am deadline.

Before surgery, they send me downstairs to draw more blood.  By now I feel that my whole blood volume has been replaced in the last 2 weeks to meet all that MDA has sucked out of me.  ;-)  But they are awesome, gee, I don't even have bruising from the chemo yesterday.

The whole team of nurses is awesome and Dr. Brown is a riot.  He has done over 5000 port insertions, I am number 5030!  Erwin has more personality than any Dr. I have met so far.  He sings to me during and after my surgery, in fact that's the only part of the surgery I remember, the port is achy and stiff.  What is in the stuff that they inject into your IV before surgery?  I want to put in an order for all my shots to be like that one.  I don't even remember being pushed down the hall.  So, all in all, not a bad morning morning for me.

First item on my agenda after surgery is to eat.  What?  You were expecting something bigger?  Trust me, when you haven't eaten for almost 18 hours, nothing is more important than your growling belly.  Calls to Kelsey and Libby are made to make everyone warm and fuzzy.  I know that it's hard on Kelsey, not to be here, but she is on her last 2-3 weeks of growing the second most important person in my life, so she will just have to deal for now. Love you Kelsey, and Andy too!

Back to the room for a well deserved nap and then out to find somewhere to eat dinner.  The shuttle rides from the hotel are quite interesting.  Nita ends up having to hold on to me to keep me from bouncing all over the van and jerking back and forth with all the starts and stops.  Glad she is here, bossy control freak that she is.  Hey, it's a family trait...

April 4, 2011: First Chemo Treatment

Wow, Mondays have a whole new meaning in my life. Ouch, umph, uggh.

Getting ready to go to Houston on Monday was it's own adventure. Southwest had it's on problems with fuselage rips and grounded plans and Libby turned up sicky poo. So I called in the troops and they responded with a private plane to try to get my sister Nita and I to Houston.  God Bless Tony, he may be my ex, but he is a good ex to have.  Around 2 am the winds started gusting to 50 miles an hour and it began to look like no amount of dramamine would do it's job for Nita and I to be able to handle flying in a small plane.  Luckily for us, at seven am the news announced that SWA flights were flying so we rebooked, again, and finally Nita and I were up and on the plane to Houston.

I have angels everywhere.  Nita leaves work to come with me, Tony jumps thru hoops to try and help, and all the prayers. Every helping caring soul helps make this burden a little lighter.

We arrived at the Crown Plaza hotel to check into our room and then report to the Mays Clinic for my 3:00pm appointment.  What a mess, this is the last day of the basketball "FINAL Four" and the hotel is packed with rowdy college students with bad manners.  Oh, joy!  We get on over to the clinic in plenty of time to visit with Charla and also let Pam, the NP,  give me a once over.  This gives me time to introduce Nita to most of the team.   Everywhere you move, blood pressure and temperature are checked and so is my weight.  It's that flashing weight thing that makes me crazy!  

On we move to the 8th floor for Chemo.  The chemo floor is very quite this afternoon, we kill time showing Nita how to play "angry birds".  Listening to her giggle and laugh at this game is very therapeutic for me. ;-)  It also helps that having her not be able to get past level seven either makes me feel better.  Hell, just having her close reminds me of all the times we had as kids as our only company.  She is much better company now, OK, well, maybe I am too. LOL

Chemo was interesting, they moved me into a little room where looking out from the bed to the rest of the room makes you feel like you are in a nice hotel room.  Of course, if you look down or over your shoulder, its a very up to date hospital room with all kinds of poles and bags and monitors.  I just can't make myself look when the nurse puts that god awful looking thing in my arm, and although it stings (a lot) he really does a good job.  He checks, rechecks, and confirms (hey, maybe he is related to Dr. Seger) that my band and my drug bags match, even has me confirm them too.  Man these guys are good.  He hooks me up, Nita's face is squishing up so hard from time to time that I am worrying about her face freezing that way or having wrinkles.  The nurse let's me know that he will be in every 15 minutes to check on me and my PB while during the chemo.

My binkie is my warm hug from Kelsey that I carry.  It reminds me of her love everywhere I go.

Hmmm, the whole thing is beginning to sink in.   This is no longer just tests and a little poking around with needles.  It's the real deal, I have cancer. Whew, I feel fine, mostly.  The bad boobie weighs about double the right one and looks funny, but it's not as painful anymore.  Oh right, that could be the drugs. ;-)   But this other weight on my chest is not from any physical symptom.  I start taking a few deep breaths, I've done the hard part, breath in,   out,     in,     out.    Dang, chin up!  I have a beast inside me.   I have to kill it.

 OK, that's better.  Turn on the TV and watch something stupid for an hour, any moron can do that.

No nausea, in fact we get the taxi driver to take us to Pappadeaux's and split a grilled salmon dinner. Yum and head on back to the hotel.  Up to now my hands have been cold and have lost some color, but now things are heating up.  Time to start watching for a fever, every time I move all night, Nita is jumping like she has a spring inserted in a southern region.  She is taking great care of me and takes my temp through the night, but other than 99.7, it never really goes any higher.  And what a night, after the ball game and the bars closing at 2:00 am the college kids go wild!  We crank on the air conditioner, put in our ear plugs and go back to sleep.

Alarm is set for 5:00 AM we have to hit it early to get to the surgical suite to see Dr. Brown by 7:00am.

The Schedule:  Each Monday beginning today, I will have chemo for 90 minutes.  These will continue for 11 more weeks, thru the end of June.  Thereafter, one chemo treatment every 3 weeks.

April 1, 2011 - getting all the i's dotted

Whew, the last two days have been full of the paperwork from hell.  But, finally we have the word today that Aetna has approved me for the clinical trial. Yippee! also begged and batted my big eyes late Thursday for an appointment this morning with Dr. Brown's office for the pre-surgical visit.  At the visit this morning with Judy and Lisa, even more begging and eye batting secured me an appointment for April 5th to have my port inserted.  Thank the Lord, they only appointment on their calendar was not until April 26th.  Miracles are happening, I just hope that you all keep praying for my miracles to continue.

I will be traveling back to Houston next week with my faithful side kick Libby.  Pray for her to maintain her wonderful patience, humor and stiff control; being with me 24/7 for days at a time is a difficult thing to  take on, but she is managing.  It helps me through everyday to have her by my side fighting with me.

Now, we just have to make it thru step 1:  getting to the chemo lined up on a weekly basis along with my port installed.  Then we can move onto step 2: getting Evie here and enjoying that grand-baby!!!  I will have the best medicine in the world when I hold that little girl in my arms and have Kelsey and Andy.  Kelsey and Andy are the joys of my life, but they may have to take a seat to the side for a while so I can spoil that baby girl rotten. ;-))))

I have a great clinical team to work with, they are a group of VERY brainy women:  Here is a picture of the group when we met on Thursday:

Thank you all for your notes, texts, calls and prayers.  My favorite message of the week came from my older sister, Nita, acting on behalf of my dog Ruby:   below for you to enjoy!

My sister Nita sent the following because I was missing my dog: " Momma, Momma!  I got to go running in the big open field. You could see forever!  The road was long and smooth with gutters on both sides full of soft sand.  At first, I didn't know what to do, but cousin Chili just took off, so I did too!  Wow! It was amazing. The wind just blowing thru my hair felt terrific. Suddenly, I spotted the greatest thing, Free balls lying everywhere! (pie melons), but they were all dry and broken.  Then we came to the stick forrest (cotton field).  It was difficult to negotiate the rows, so back to the road for me.  I went for a mile and a half, but Chili went for 4 miles. WOW!" love Ruby.

March 30, 2011 - Test and Scan Results.

Another early morning, up at 5 am and over to the MRI out-patient screening.  The MRI was easy, just the position seemed a little strange.  Good thing Elsie put the IV for the drip in the outside top vein of my right arm. Of course, their main concern is that no metal gets anywhere near the machine.  Hey, I’m concerned about that too.  Down to my underroos and a set of scrubs pants,  I had to climb up on the table knees first (always a challenge with my old knees).  Now Brandi  explains to put my chest into a frame (reminiscent of an utter frame for a milking cow, oh joy) and my face into position above with my arms stretched out like superman flying thru the sky.  Now the boobies are tender from the 9 core biopsies from yesterday and it is a major concern of mine not to be bumping ANYTHING against the sides or center of the “utter frame”.  Brandi further explains how I am supposed to remain perfectly still in this position for 45 minutes , and by the way, she will also be injecting some room temperature fluid in my arm during part of the process.  I figure I can do this, no problem.  It turns out that I have my mother to thank for all those pinches in church to be still, go figure.

While I am finishing up my test, Libby is moving us over to the Rotary House, the hotel owned by MDA but operated by Marriott.  Bless her heart; we have a ton of crap.  Lesson number 925, pack less.

 We get to Dr. Alvarez’s office at 3 pm and they call us in for the vitals and stick us in an exam room.  Dr. A comes in and tells us that all the reports look “berry good”.  In fact, he is smiling and explaining that my IBC looks pretty isolated to the left breast only, no wall cavity involvement and that just a couple of my lymph glands are showing any signs of the cancer.  He says that this is proof of early detection proceeds to walk us thru all of the tests on the screens of his computer.

 He goes further to explain that this makes me a perfect candidate for a clinical study that is in phase two for a combination of chemotherapy drugs that Charla will tell me about. My main concern is that this is not his study, when I ask why he is not considering me for his study, he says “you do not want to be a part of my study, those candidates are much sicker”.  OK, so now it is finally sinking in that the tests and scans really are giving me GOOD news.

Dr. Alvarez introduces me to Charla Parker.  She is dark headed, thin and an RN with a bold way of speech and a big heart. Hmmmm, Libby thinks "she's you in another skin" and "how many more of these will be meet in this place1". Charla explains the purpose of the study is test the combination of both panitumumab, nab-paclitexal, and carboplatin (PNC) and fluorouracil, epirubicin and cyclophosphamide (FEC) used before surgery for the treatment of IBC.  The goal of the study is slow down the growth of tumor cells by blocking the proteins on the surface of the can cell, kill tumor cells by binding a chemotherapy drug to albumin, a protein made by the liver, the albumin gets into the cancer cell and releases the paclitaxel directly to the tumor. Also to stop or slow cancer cells from growing by damaging the RNA or DNA that tells the tumor cells to grow. The FEC each work in different ways to stop the growth of tumor cells, either by killing the cells or by stopping them from dividing.   As complicate as all this sounds, it breaks down to a few simple facts:  1) I can get weekly attention from the top IBC team in the US (maybe the world),  2) I get a combination of FDA cancer approved drugs in a new combination delivered with the main goal of stopping the growth of IBC at its current location much like HER2 does for regular breast cancer patients, 3) further the drugs begin killing the cancer cells in preparation for surgical removal.  The very nature of IBC, makes it's removal difficult, and after all this explanation I feel sure that if the insurance is good to go, then so am I.
Picture of Leah and Charla:

This will mean that I travel to Houston for my chemotherapy over the next 6 months.  The first 12 weeks, on subsequent  Mondays, I will be in Houston taking the clinical trial drugs and seeing the team doctors. Then the remaining 3 months of my chemotherapy is at 3 week intervals also in Houston with the same team.  It’s going to make my work schedule crazy, but I believe I will have a better chance to beating this damn thing with the team that I have met and with the drugs they are going to use. 

March 29, 2011 - M D Anderson for testing

Holy cats in pajamas!  What a day....

We were up at 5 am, grabbed a quick bite and on the road to the Mays Clinic at MDA.  The day started out easy with a new mammogram on both sides and then we moved on to the sonogram set up.  Sonogram wasn't bad, but the focused biopsies were a real "ouch", that is my new favorite 4 letter word..  Those needles were long and no amount of deadening in the world worked after about the 6th one. Not jumping when that plunger thingie fired was quite an experience.  I lost count at 8 and just kept focusing on breathing, squeezing Juanita's hand and letting Dr. Yang to her thang! (sorry, couldn't resist.)  Juanita had to pry my hand away when we were done. ;-)  Haven't had my boobies squeezed like that in years.  It was interesting to watch for a minute on the monitor, but after that I squeezed my big old peepers shut and just hung on.  Four women worked me over!  Hey in the good old days it would have taken at leat five.  Thank goodness for extra strength tylenol, the only thing I am allowed until after the PET.  I did enjoy stealing Libby's "love" blanket away as a pity prize.  Won't be leaving my binkie behind anymore!

Ester, over in the main building's cardio unit, is ready for the echo cardiogram right on time. And that really was fun to watch. No, really.  It was very interesting and in color. It is amazing to watch how God has put us all together, seeing your own live heart beat, watch all the valves and chambers work makes you feel a little humble.  Hopefully, what the Dr.s will see in the 80 some-odd pics we took, is a strong heart that will ensure that I can withstand the chemo strength they need to give me.  And when we get the results tomorrow, that Dr. Alvarez will be pleased.

We left the clinic about 1:30pm and returned to my faithful Marriott for a well deserved nap from 2 to 3:30.  Thank God Libby woke up, cause I had set my alarm on my phone for AM instead of PM.  But we made it successfully to the nuclear diagnostic center (Mays Clinic again) for the PET scan.  Interesting thing, they inject radioactive sugar into the blood.  You sit still for an hour and 20 minutes and then they stick you in the imaging system.  Which is in the coldest dang room you can imagine.  I brought my on binkie this time and I could feel Kelsey in every knot that we tied.  I came out at 6:30pm to find Libby as the only person left in the waiting area... Poor baby, what a boring day for her.  She has had to tote everything since the biopsies, we are learning to limit our stuff.

Libby is an absolute jewel.  I don't know what I would do without her.  Just having someone by your side is a life saver.  Nita and Sheila both sent me love notes throughout the day with Kelsey and Andy both chiming in to.  Trust me, I feel the love and it is very uplifting.  Keep all the prayers coming, I CAN FEEL THEM WORKING.

Ned, I used your "flower power" shawl to tie the ice packs on!  It works like a charm. ;-)  Now it's time for some good drugs and sleep, so we can do it all again tomorrow!  xxoo Leah

March 22, 2011 at M D Anderson

Kelsey, the little shit, has given us all fits but is with us in Houston.  Ok, so I am better with her and Libby than I am without her, but I just don't know where she gets all that hard headness from. LOL

Anyway, we are up at 5 am to make my 7 am appointment to get registered at M. D. Anderson (MDA) from here on out.  We all load up on the Shuttle at 6 am from the Residence Inn to MDA.  We have just passed a good night on the noisiest beds you have EVER seen. ;-)  I will out forms with Milla, meet Rebecca, my scheduler and patient specialist.  Before you get to meet your Dr. at MDA, you meet the nurse that takes your vitals and then get to meet  NP - PAM.  She is my kinda girl.  Straight forward, no holds. She will be my main contact and meeting with me more than anyone else and that is all okie dokie with me.  Of course, Kelsey and Libby are everywhere with me and even recording some of our meetings.

While I am waiting for Dr. Alvarez, David a researcher comes in and asks to talk to me and ask my permission to get extra blood work for some research he is doing.  I say YES, before he can explain what the research is for, and he calls "so bold, you have thrown me off my regular speech."  Poor guy, he hasn't got a clue how bold I can be, but he will learn.  So I sign the paperwork for the blood research he is doing to do early diagnosis of cancer and out he goes.

Finally, I get to meet the the man, Dr. Alvarez.. Cute, Cute, Cute!  And really nice and the accent doesn't hurt either.  He does a great job telling me about their clinic, program and what to expect in the coming days, weeks, months and years of my illness.  Generally, 6 mos chemo, breast and lymph gland removal, reconstruction and maybe more chemo.

Now, when we are thru with all the questions all three of us can think of, and pumped by the wonderful amounts of energy that have come our way, I get to meet Juanita.  Another researcher, she asks for some of my biopsy tissue for specific IBC research and once again there are the signing of papers.

While Rebecca is fighting with the Insurance from hell, Atena, we are sent down to Diagnostics where I meet Jeff, Mr. Dracula, who commences to lay out 20 tubes for all the blood samples and tests that MDA needs.  Pictures coming.  I did pretty good with all the icky stuff until about tube 16 or so and then get a little light headed. ;-) Jeff is great and explains to me that drinking water and maybe eating something would be a good idea.  Funny guy our Mr. Dracula.

All this time, Kelsey, Libby and I have been taking turns carrying around my films from all the previous 5 years of mammo and sonograms.  Back up to Rebecca we go, and she hasn't been very successful on getting me in the next day or so for testing.  But he has been able to get ALL the test scheduled for Next Tuesday the 29th of March.  My next appointment with Dr. A is on Wednesday the 30th, so what the heck.  We will do all that he needs the day before my appointment.  We get to make plans to go home and take a much needed nap on the nosiest beds in the world. ;-)

Libby gets to go to dinner with her nephew and Kelsey and I go to a great little italian place for dinner.  We hit the hay (sure makes more noise that hay) and get off home the next morning.

Jeff, Mr. Dracula, actually a really Nice blood sucker! Ha.

March 20, 2011 Telling Kelsey & Andy about my IBC

The morning after Kelsey's shower is tough.  Kelsey and I go do our breakfast thing and then come back to her house, where I have spent a lovely evening with Kelsey making me a binkie...

I have already discussed with Dr. Seger that I want his help "talking to the kids" about IBC and explaining to them what is about to unfold.

We get everyone gathered around the table and talk.  It is a tough experience telling the most important person in your life, who is carrying the 2nd most important person (5 weeks away from delivery) that you have breast cancer.  It was the toughest decision to tell the kids, but all the smart people tell me we gotta do it, so on we go.

Kelsey and Andy are shell shocked.  I imagine the look on their faces is very similar to the one I have been wearing now for several days, at least when no one is looking.

Thank God for Dr. Seger, he has all the real important information and communicates it to the kiddos with the great bedside manner and confidence that I am sure made him the Mr. check, double check, confirm and reconfirm that we all love!

It is a hard morning, but we make it through.  We even make time for Baby Bump Pictures.  Yippee!  No, I won't be publishing them, they are just for the kiddos.

I also move on to Lamesa, where I have to visit with my Mother and explain that I might be on the road for 10-14 days at MD Anderson.  By the time I get home Sunday night, I am exhausted.

The IBC Discovery Story

So many of you have asked, What is IBC?  How did you discover you had it?  What are you doing about your IBC?

It is so great to have so many friends and family that care, but is it exhausting telling the "tale" so many times.  And it is depressing as hell.  LOL  Besides, I can't tell the short version, so here is the long version.

So here is how it all came about:  Around March 1st, 2011, I noticed about a 1/2 inch diameter spot on the upper part of my left breast.  Now, those of you that know me, I am a little bit well endowed and we can all be grateful that the spot was on the top of my breast (if it had been on the bottom, I might never have noticed it).  Anyway, I really just thought "well, you idiot, what have you run into now" to make your boobie red.  Going on my merry way a few days later, I noticed that my dear old Scottish-Irish skin was still red and that the spot seemed to have grown.  So I am now paying a little more attention thinking that during my process of life that I have somehow gotten bitten by a bug or spider or some such thing.  Two days later, I came home to discover the area is larger, hot and seems to have a texture underneath that is somewhat firm.

OK, so now I start to get worried, Libby calls her Dr. at Scott and White and she recommends that I talk to a DR. at MWC that has studied with her.  I call the next morning and get into the Midland Women's Clinic.  They were awesome, every doctor is booked for weeks, but they make me an immediate appointment to see one the the PAs, James Struble.  I walk in and meet James and Kenda (the best nurse in the world).  They are awesome and we begin our exam.  James asks that Dr. Locke come in to take a look.  To make the story a little shorter, they immediately schedule me for a new mammogram, sonogram and to have Dr. Durgin at Midland Surgical Associates have a look and do a biopsy.  James even goes so far to get on the phone himself to get me the "earliest appointment possible" for the mammo and sonogram.

By now, Libby is worried too.  We are starting to sweat that we will not know anything before the baby shower.  Kelsey and just about everyone else is in the dark.  The mammogram was a really painful bitch, I was in the process that day of having all new carpet laid in the house and forgot to take James advice about taking a pain pill before going, sonogram is also done same place and same day.  I go on March 11th to Midland Surgical Associates where I have an appoint with Dr. Durgin.  I do make him  understand, "that as long as you do not hurt me, then I will not have to hurt you" he says "my wife is a hitter too so I get it!"  Anyway we get the punch biopsy done on that Friday (by we, Libby is with me) and now we are waiting for pathology.  He says not to get too excited because the only cancer that manifests itself like this is rare, inflammatory breast cancer IBC, and it shouldn't really be a concern.  So, several days go by, no word and I am already antsy.  I call Midland Surgical Associates on Thursday March 17th, St. Patrick's day, leave a message that I want my pathology results.  A nurse calls me back about 1:30 pm, while I am eating green curry - in honor of St. Patrick's day, and just tells me I have malignant cancer cells in my breast.  Suddenly, my food does not taste so good anymore and I finish up and go directly to the MSA where I get a copy of my pathology report.  Wow, right there in plain old black and white it says, INFLAMMATORY BREAST CARCINOMA, and now I can't breath, think or see straight.  I call Libby, yes- it is the rare cancer the Dr. Durgin mentioned and we meet at my house.

Now we have already made plans to meet with my other fast friend, Carolyn Moreno, to work on the christening gown project for little grand baby Evie.  So we decide that it is finally time to try out the ginger liqueur I have been hording and we create the "LearJet Cocktail".  3/4 shot of Ginger Liqueur, 1 shot of vodka and 2 shots of peach nectar shaken in a cocktail mixer with ice, makes 2 short cocktails and they are smooth....  We order Outback and commence to have a girl's night like we have not done in awhile. (at one time I have  Libby, Carolyn, Ruby and me all piled on my bed trying out the new electric controls holding cocktail glasses. Dang it, why didn't I get a camera).  Anyway, it was very therapeutic.

Now comes Friday, March 18th.  As soon as it is decent, 8am, I call Mr. check, double check, confirm and reconfirm (Andy's dad, Dr. Seger).  I explain to Dr. Seger what is going on and that Libby had been on the phone late yesterday and has me an appointment at Scott and White in Temple on Monday.  I ask, "where would you take Christine in the same circumstances?" and he immediately answers M.D. Anderson in Houston. So we talk a little while and I explain that MSA called at 6pm the previous evening and a nurse has asked that I come in at noon today, Friday, to see Dr. Sawyer.  Dr. Seger says go do that and get back with him.  Now, I am nothing if not thorough, and I begin to poll others that I know have dealt directly with cancer.  I get the same answer everywhere, M.D. Anderson.  We are about 10 minutes away from my noon appt. and I call Dr. Seger back.  He has already done his research.  I tell him that I am seriously thinking that I should go to Houston, and he says "good, I have been on the phone with them, they have a clinic that does nothing but IBC and I highly recommend that this is where you should go, no doubts."  Now for those of you that do not know Mr. check, double check, confirm and reconfirm, those are mighty big words and I take them as the gospel.  Especially since we can tell from the pathology report that MSA had the results since Monday the 14th and did NOTHING. Now being pissed is a good thing, anger can carry me through the day.

I now walk into my appointment at Midland Surgical Associates to see Dr. Sawyer, with much more information and ready to ask questions.   I wish for Dr. Durgin, but he is on vacation and will not be back until next week.  Dr. Sawyer is an egotistical asshole and the whole nursing staff is a bunch of snobby bitches!  Dr. Sawyer even has the gall when I ask "Is a phone call the way your staff usually tells someone they have cancer?" to which he answers  "sure, sometimes".  He commences to give me an exam and assure me that "we have everything here in Midland to treat this type of cancer".  Now, you will all be proud that the man is not dead, in fact, I simply say, "I will be going to M. D. Anderson" and walk out.

Libby is with me and we leave and drive directly to Midland Women's clinic where Kenda (still the best nurse in the world) goes and gets Dr. Locke and even though it is nearing 4pm on Friday they get to work getting me referred to M. D. Anderson.

God Bless Midland Women's clinic, Dr. Locke, Kenda and James Stuble.  They may be instrumental in saving my life.

M.D. Anderson calls me on Monday, Kenda has already been doing her "thing".  We now have an appointment for 7am  Wednesday 3/22/11 less than three weeks after me "seeing a red spot".

The Baby Shower

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Kelsey's baby shower was so much fun.  We had 40 friends and family attend the 11am to 2pm event and we all had a blast creating either Moon or Star quilt blocks for our new "star to be" Mary Evangeline Seger.  Evie, for short, should arrive on or about April 29th and I am going to be the bestest grandma on the planet.  This is my first, so I get to be slightly goofy...

Here are some examples of the quilt blocks, cool huh....

Kelsey is feeling just awesome and she and Andy have both been working hard to get their offices and home prepared.  I just know that they will be inspiring parents and will shower Evie with so much love.  All the grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. will surround Evie with love and no small amount of alpha A type personalities.  She will be one self-assured little chick!